Handling a Critique or Edit

hey FFFers - sorry for the long space inbewteen posts. I was cast in a show with our local summer theatre and that took up pretty much all of my brain space. :)

Rachel Joy asked about writing in first person. I will be having a guest blogger teach about that. She's great with first person. So, while I'm waiting to get her stuff, let's talk about how we handle being critiqued or edited.

It's not easy being critiqued. We love our stories, our characters, our words. It can feel like a personal attack when someone tells us it's not good enough or needs to be changes. As an author and a freelance editor, I see both sides. So, let's take a look.

Friends and family members are not the best ones to lean on for critique. As a reader, sure, you can run stuff past them, but for a real critique or edit, you need someone in the business. And you need to check them out thoroughly. Anyone can say they're an editor (that goes for agents, too.) On my website, I have recommendations from clients and anyone can contact these people to talk to them.

We have to find a balance of sticking up for our work and not holding on to it too tightly. When I suggest changes, I always give a reason and/or an example. Then the author can try both ways and see what works the best.

When you get an edit, I recommend reading through all the notes and then setting it aside for at least a day - a week is better - and then read it again with fresh eyes.

Please do not argue or get snarky with your editor. Most editors are reasonable people and if you are contracted with a publishing house, they are always willing to talk things out. If you can justify not making some changes, an editor will listen. But if you argue too much, you'll become known as an author who is not easy to work with. Editors know each other and they communicate. It's not as big a world as you may think.

When authors come to me, I tell them they don't have to make my changes. But my goal is to help make their manuscript the best it can be so their chances of getting picked up by a publishing house will be higher. Even if they choose to self publish, they still want their story to be the best it can be or the people who buy the book will not give it a good review on amazon. I don't know about you all, but I read people's reviews on amazon when I'm not sure about a book or item.

So, let's talk. Have you had an experience with an editor or critique group? How was it? How did you handle it?

And one more thing: the Greater Philadelphia Christian Writer's Conference is August 10-13 this year and there's still time to register. The Teens Write day is Thursday, the 11th and we're going ALL DAY this year! It's going to be exhausting, but I think it's going to be great. Hope to see you there!

What's Next?

hey FFFers - what do you want to talk about next? I know it's summer time and the livin' is easy, but for many of us, we get more writing done now. What are you working on that you need help with? Let me know and we'll brainstorm with you.

An Opportunity

hey FFFers - here's an opportunity to send a submission to an agency that is usually closed to unsolicited stuff: http://www.nappaland.com/Literary/default.html

Go to the submissions page and follow the directions. They'll want just a query letter. If this is your first novel, make sure it's completed before submitting anything. Since it just started on June 1st and will be open until August 31st, let's talk about query letters.

What is a query letter? It is a one page letter that introduces your book idea and yourself. Think of it as your 30 second elevator pitch on paper. Here's a basic formula from novelist Marcus Sakey:

After a professional greeting (Mr. or Ms.), begin with a 1 - 2 line paragraph explaining that you are writing them because you know they represent X, and your book is similar.

Then, in 3 - 5 lines, sum up your story. Leave out the tangents, complications, minor characters, and themes. Remember, this is seduction. Focus on drama and stakes.

Here’s mine:
For Danny Carter, retired thief turned respectable businessman, a normal life sharing a Lincoln Park condo with his loving girlfriend seems like the ultimate score–until his former partner comes looking for him. A hardened killer fresh out of Stateville, his partner wants to kidnap the son of Danny’s millionaire boss, and he needs help to pull it off. Doing the job could cost Danny his career, his relationship, and his freedom.

Refusing could cost him his life.

Notice how I used only one name, and how I boiled the story down to its essense? The result is a brief summation that has some sex appeal.

In your next paragraph, spend 1 - 4 lines mentioning awards, previous publications, and nepotistic hookups. By the latter, I mean connections with authors, publishing folks, or the media. Is Stephen King your uncle? Did you work for Oprah? Put it in there. Also, if you have some experience that informed the book, consider including it. Be judicious here: if you’re hawking a mystery novel, by all means mention the fact that you are a police officer. If your character likes to cook and so do you, leave it out.

Finally, end with what in advertising is known as a call to action: “May I send you the finished manuscript?”

(Okay - that's a pretty good basic example. Personally, I always thank the agent for their time before I ask them if I can send the manuscript.)

Marcus goes on to explain an email query:

I recommend you query via email. There are a couple of reasons. First, e-queries are cheaper and faster and better for the environment. Second, you can include a little taste of your novel. Do it like this: “Page one of THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL follows. May I send you the finished manuscript?”

Then, after your name and contact info, paste in the first page or so of the novel. Do not attach it, as that will freak people out about viruses. Also, be sure to check your formatting, since email can screw that up, and manually insert line-breaks to double-space.

Finally, make sure that you end on a minor cliffhanger, something interesting.

The idea is simple. The agent has just read your brief and compelling query letter. They’re intrigued. It’s the easiest thing in the world to scroll down and read a little more — and then, because your first page is dynamite (right?), hopefully intrigued upshifts to excited. Simple as that.

Marcus ends up by saying a great query letter is not written in a day. Just like our manuscripts, it needs to be written and rewritten. We should have it critiqued and checked for anything that sticks out, like spelling or vague sentences. And it should reflect your writing style.

If you need some help with your story summation, post it in the comments and we'll help you with it.

Next time, we'll talk about one pages. That's kind of like a query letter, but you can be more artistic with it. If you're planning to attend a writer's conference, you'll want to have a one sheet with you.

Voice

Voice is the last chapter in Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne & Dave King. I haven't gone through every page of the book with you, but touched on the highlights. It's worth purchasing for your writing library.

Here's a quote from the book: "A strong, distinctive, authoritative writing voice is something most fiction writers want - and something no editor or teacher can impart. There are, after all, no rules for writing like yourself. Voice is, however, something you can bring out in yourself. The trick is to not concentrate on it."

We all have unique experiences, lives, and personalities. This shapes and molds us into the people we are today. It's the same with voice. Voice is not how you talk. It's not style. It's your word choices, phrases and sentence composition. While your characters all need their own voices, your writing voice should still come out whether you are writing narrative, action or dialog. And the reader will have the feeling it was effortless on your part (which we know isn't true.)

Voice is developed by writing. Lots and lots of writing. When you begin to write, don't think too hard about how you want to say something. Just write it. A writing partner who is more experienced is a tremendous help.

Let's try something. I want you to write a sentence or two about someone walking in the rain. Let's see the difference in our voices. It will be fun.

On a business note: registration is open for the Greater Phila. Christian Writers Conference in August. I'm on faculty and am teaching the First Timers' Orientation and a workshop on The Hero's Journey for Teens Write. Check out the details here: www.writehisanswer.com/philadelphia

I look forward to seeing your sentences!

Life Break!

My youngest daughter's (Mary) Senior Prom was last night. Just wanted to share it with you. I'll be posting a new topic next week!

Beats, Break Ups and Bothersome Words

Hi FFFers - thanks for hanging in there with me. My youngest daughter, Mary, is an active senior in high school. That makes me a very busy mom! Besides concerts, activities, competitions, fundraisers and scholarship applications, we have also been busy with college registration and prep. She will be attending Five Towns College in Dix Hills, NY, for Film Production. If any of you want a college for fine arts, this is the college to attend on the East Coast. Check it out.

Okay - we've been talking about dialog, including tags and beats. Let's do a quick review. Tags are the "he said/she said" that come after dialog. Beats are a small piece of action that typically comes before the dialog that indicate who is talking without having to use a "he said/she said." Mixing up beats and tags helps make your writing flow and brings it to life.

Break ups are how we format the page. Most readers like to see a lot of white space. Think about it; when you open a book and it's loaded with words, it can feel overwhelming. But if the paragraphs are varied and there's more white space on the page, it's not as intimidating. The key here is mixing it up, like beats and tags. Some paragraphs are longer. Some are short. Same with sentences. And when you are writing dialog, make sure you start a on a new line with each person who is talking.

"It's so hot," Sue said.

Jill fanned herself with a magazine. "I could melt right into the floor. I hate summer."

Bob shook his head. "Why don't you just turn on the air?"

The girls looked at him with distain. "Right," Sue said. "How about you pay our electric bill and we'll do that."

If I were to go on with this scene, I would go to narrative at this point. It doesn't have to be long, but we need to break up dialog from time to time.

Bothersome (or repeated) words. We all have our favorite words or phrases. And that's okay if your character has something they like to say, but if you are using words or phrases that kind of stand out or are unique in some way, it can get real bothersome to the reader. I recently read a NY Times best seller and the main character, Maggie, groused. She groused all the time. She groused four times on one page! And at one point, Maggie groused and it was not an appropriate use of the word. Who the heck says "grouse" anymore? And do you even know what it means? It means to complain. It was so distracting, I never finished the book.

This is why it's so important to have someone else read your stuff. If you can't rope anyone into that, read it out loud to yourself. You'll spot bothersome words and repeated phrases more then reading silently.

Variety is key to strong, interesting writing. What do you think? How do you handle it?

Interior Monologue

The next chapter in Self-Editing for Fiction Writers is Interior Monologue, which is a form of dialogue where your character is either thinking or talking to themselves without speaking out loud.

Movies and TV may be influencing writers to write more visually, but fiction can always accomplish something visual media will never be able to touch. You may be able SEE a character doing something on the big screen, but you don't know what he or she is thinking. One of the great gifts of literature is that it allows for the expression of unexpressed thoughts. We call this Interior Monologue.

It doesn't matter if you are writing in first or third person, you can show the thoughts of your characters. There are a couple different ways to show it - direct thought or indirect thought. It's a matter of preference of either the author or the editor. I typically choose indirect thoughts because I feel it's less jolting.

Here's an example from my manuscript on indirect thoughts. See if you can identify them:

Tzmet paced her balcony. Curses! Why did it always take so long for fairies to wilt? She strode to the wooden rack in the courtyard at the top of the castle tower. Two wingless, earth fairies hung upside down, barely moving in the bright sunlight, their life essence slowly draining away. One opened her eyes and peered up at the sky with a look that begged for mercy.

“Hah, beg. Yes, beg! It moves me not.” Tzmet threw her hands in the air and stalked off. She stopped to look at herself in the mirror and ran a hand over her bald head. Why did she torture herself by keeping a mirror in the tower?

One of the easiest ways to tell indirect thoughts is that we know what the character is thinking, but the sentences are not in italics.

You can guess that direct thoughts are typically in italics. Most of us are used to seeing it written that way, however, today most editors like to stay from as much italics as possible because it's hard to read. So, if you want to use direct thought, keep it to a miminum. Here's an example from another one of my manuscripts:

Garry never knew what to say to girls, but he had to say something now.

“Hey,” he said. Oh, that’s real snappy, Garry.

She looked startled and then relaxed when she saw him. “Oh, hey.”

“How ya doing?” Another bright one, you jerk.


See how I kept it simple but we still know what Garry is thinking and feeling?

That's interior monologue at it's most basic. How about you? What's your preference?